In my late mid 20’s I became part of an ‘enlightenment’ path which as part of it’s ‘reaching enlightenment’ protocol had you meditating for an hour twice a day.
How Negative Issues Can Help you to Meditate Very Badly?
I wasn’t very good at this meditation lark. If you reading this are actually following the reading ‘protocol’ for these pages then you’ll appreciate that I was dragging rather a lot of psychological trauma and emotional shutdown issues around (a list is given here). As a result, I actually perceived myself as trying to meditate while carrying a large rucksack full of issue boulders weighing me down. So, maintaining my attention with regards the meditating ‘protocol’ I found very difficult. In other words my attention would easily drift off, despite me actually in reality having a phenomenal degree of attention and focus for other ‘life’ areas.
In all, I spent about 4 years meditating consistently but (in my terms) badly during my late 20’s, the only positive outcome that I could correlate to this meditation phase was a noticeable improvement in my sleeping.
Fast forward about 10 years during which I rarely meditated to a bizarre phase where I’m in lots of anxiety, fear, panic and even occasionally terror with absolutely no discernible reason. At one point I’m invited to a friends house warming party in Yorkshire, they’ve mentioned that they’ve a woman friend whom would like to meet me and my ‘precognitive’ sense with respect to this meeting is so strong as in ‘IMPORTANT’ that rather than go skiing in the alps with friends I decide to go to this party (which because of ‘carry over’ from my ‘stammer’ I’d usually avoid) I amazingly decide to go.
How to Easily Meditate in Hellish Completely Disturbing Conditions?
I arrive at the party, get in the house which is full of people and loud music, I’m given a drink and while standing there I look around the entire room. Within 30 seconds I ‘know’ which ‘woman’ the ‘woman friend’ is. Which is confirmed a few minutes later when she comes to speak to me. We start talking and as our friends have told her about my crazy ’emotional’ state she asks about this and after talking about these areas for a while she says have I tried meditation? Yes, but:
- Not recently and . . .
- I’m seriously not very good at it either.
At which point she takes me into another room sits me down up against a wall and proceeds to take me through a ‘visual’ walled garden guided meditation . . .
Unbelievably I find myself completely locked into this meditation state and have unbelievable degree of attention while in it and because of this, this is actually calming my emotional state down.
My ‘inner meditative space’ with respect to trying this meditation could be accurately represented by the picture on the right:
You’d imagine that the room she took me too was a sound proofed very quiet room somewhere in the house? Yes?
Nope! Not at all
It was the room with the buffet table, the music was as loud as ever AND there was a constant stream of people ALL THE TIME at best stepping over me at worst stepping on me where I was sitting on the floor, with my back up against the wall, right next to and facing the buffet table as people walked around it clockwise picking up food.
So, the ‘reality’ of the space I was meditating in could accurately be represented by the jarring picture above accompanied by loud music:
So, how does that work?
A Walled Garden Guided Meditation Example
I’ve had 4 years of experience meditating in the best conditions possible and here I am in the equivalent of a meditating war zone while bizarrely I’m completely locked into this meditation. For anyone whom has spent time meditating then you’ll know that this situation is very unlikely if not way past impossible. It’s also even more unlikely in that my ‘psychological’ resting state at that particular time was no where near as good as it was 10 years previously.
This meditation approach I considered to be so good that I wrote the ‘walled garden’ meditation protocol down and I occasionally passed this on to others whom would perhaps benefit from using this.
So, ‘in brief’ you ‘visualize’ yourself into a ‘nice’ garden, you walk along a path, you go down some steps and face a door in a high wall which is your entrance to the walled garden which when you open and go through the door you landscape as you want.
Except it turns out that some people just cannot get the door open. It’s locked for them.
How can Some People be Locked out of Inner Conceptual Spaces?
They start out fine in the garden, along the path, down the steps, get to and stand in front of the door BUT no matter what they do they cannot open the door and are kept out of the garden.
They describe that they are being kept out of it, they DON’T describe it as if they are themselves keeping themselves out of the main meditation environment. In other words, they describe it as if they are prevented from having access while in fact being decidedly keen on WANTING TO HAVE access.
How can this happen? How can a ‘walled garden’ meditation end up as actually being a ‘walled garden’ locked out inner space for specific people?
Has anyone else had experience of being conceptually and internally locked out of ‘inner’ and assumed personally generated spaces?